// He has taught me so much //

i used to be scared of life. 

the simplicity of it all -

the way we grow up, live, die,

generation after generation with so little time - 

it frightened the heck out of me.

my least favorite nights were the ones where the flesh would

enlarge the fears. 

whispering that "no one cares for you in the long run, aside from your family of course."

i lived in a constant worry that i wasn't living life to the fullest.

that my lifestyle was lazy, without purpose.

this was my biggest fear:

that i would live.

i would die.

and that would be all. 

simple lives scared me

but now,

 i stand with a polar opposite drive.

simple lives inspire me.

it sounds like an oxymoron.

it doesn't make sense.

but think: 

we have an average of eighty or ninety years to change the world!

no, not the world: 

rather the lives of those around us.

the humans: the hurt, lost, suffering,

drowning sinners that surround us. 

this is not an obligation we have, this is a privilege.

our purpose on this earth is first and foremost to glorify Him who created us.

and through this purpose, we should find ourselves bringing others to the Savior. 

the simplicity of this life, is that love {should be} our motto.

in our actions, words, thoughts, life.

my good friend, you do not live fully until you start loving those humans.

the ones that live close to your daily life, 

or the ones you speak to on a rare occasion,

or even the ones that you never speak to.

LOVE THEM.

with all your heart and mind strength.

until the peace of God, the love of your Savior, just surges through your veins.

these actions of love

{remember real love is full of actions, not just words} 

 take seconds, 

fleeting moments in the big picture,

but friend, 

they are moments that these humans with never forget.

{consciously or subconsciously it does not matter} 

make it your mission, or life list:

i. GOD

ii. HUMANS

through this i have found my purpose, my love for life, my overwhelming peace and love for Christ.

for when you start loving people, you realize how helpless you are:

in their life,

in your life;

you realize the need you have for a great Savior.

it forces you to throw it at His feet

to surrender the flesh and ask for His help.

and His word {the bible} comes alive, 

you learn so much about Him and his plans.

about how He works, how He helps people, 

how He helps you.

it takes the focus off your life and puts it on Him. 

and that my friend, is pretty darn incredible.

. .

a simple life is full of these small acts.

imagine how many fleeting moments you can fit in ninety years.

that's a lot of love, a lot of lessons learned, 

and a lot of Christ's work lived out.

that is why,

a simple life inspires me.

i do not know how clear this all is.

but i do know that the great love i have for my Savior, Jesus Christ,

drives my life, 

my actions,

and my love for these suffering humans.

it's my purpose.

. . .

merry christmas my dear friends!

don't be a scrooge. :)

<3 eva

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

KIND WORDS COST NOTHING
-unknown // via

// sing to the sky //

| keep your head above water,

but don't forget to breathe |

-alexi murdoch // breathe

.

. .

. . .

sometimes life is black

with ragged waves.

the ink of the harsh water

eating away at your struggling body.

hurling you, suffocating you,

like a heartless monster

taking pleasure from its sobbing victim.

. . .

but other times it is as still 

as the night sky.

serene, silent, without movement.

the water appears to be glass

it is so tame.

it laps against your neck,

and you glare,

wondering why it doesn't do more.

you almost drown and now you're

hoping the waves that tried to destroyed you 

would be wilder.
. . .
. .
.

but you're not a fish.

you are not aquatic.

you are human.

so realize that your life is out in the air,

in the sky.

this ocean is only temporary.

<3 eva

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

so excuse us while we sing to the sky
- screen // twentyonepilots // via

// declaring my love //

You are my light,

my color,

my warmth.

MY SUN

You are my friend,

my peace, 

my comfort,

MY SAVIOR

You are my life, 

my belief, 

my energy, 

MY PURPOSE
_

i love you Jesus

<3 eva

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"i'll make it because He carries me."
-unknown // via

// relax + read //

| we're so small and so lost and so loved. 

God is so close. 

why do we resist Him? 

"He will fight for you- you need only be still." |

-olivia // summer of 1999

one of my favorites bloggers, olivia, {author of the words above}

has awarded me with the liebster award. 

most of the time i'm terrible with answering questions from awards

{my apologies to all those who have awarded me and i never posted about}

but it just so happened i needed to relax and thought i'd answer them.

cuz why not right?

>> who is your favorite teacher you've had so far and why? <<

my mother is the only teacher i've ever had.

{besides my amazing father and Savior who have 

contributed in my education in so many other ways}

she's my favorite because she's incredible at teaching when the textbooks

have no idea what they're talking about. 

and she takes no nonsense. 

>> what do you do to destress? <<

browsing pinterest or reading while laying on my comfy bed
or curled up like a cat on the couch,
is a typical de-stressing period for me. :)
chill spotify playlists are also wonderful. <3

>> what is the first book you remember reading? or if you could choose one children's book to read to your child which would it be? <<

oh wow. mmmm, i'm going to go with first chapter book for this question, 
which would probably be little house in the big woods. 
the entire series is one i love very much,
and would love to see my future children reading them.

>> what is the last item you purchased? <<

um.... *thinking*... it would seem my last purchase was a plant.
haha, yeah, surprise, surprise, right?
{i'm just a little obsessed with plants}

>> when and how does your family first begin to celebrate Christmas (if you do)? <<

the entire month of december is pretty much a giant christmas celebration, to be honest.
we start with thanksgiving day where we blast christmas music, and plan gift shopping. 
the day after thanksgiving the house is covered in glitter, greenery, and twinkle lights.
then comes all the parties, cookie exchanges, gingerbread house decorating, etc. 
days are filled with gift-making, gift-buying, and christmas cheers. 
{and laughter - the best part}
nights are filled with christmas movies, and snug family time.
by the week of christmas the hype has reached its point. the trees decked out with lights, 
and gifts beneath its boughs.
my grandparents spend of the week of christmas here with us, 
so early christmas morning, we all meet in the living room and
 read The Christmas Story before diving into all the presents that have been 
so thoughtfully planned out for each person.

>> if you could choose to have any color hair, what would it be? <<

honestly, i love having dark brown hair and i don't know if i *want* any other hair color?
i would love blond highlights, {and i sorta already do} but that's not a solid other color.

>> favorite movie that has come out in the last year (or two, whatevs)? <<

probably interstellar. everything about that movie is spectacular.
including its name. it means: between the stars.
also i'm a nerd who loves space, science, and problem solving so what the heck?

>> favorite book of the bible and short bit on why? <<

gah. such a hard question. 
but i have to say ecclesiastes, its such a beautiful book.
and honestly, a lot of people don't seem to get it. 
its like... the whole bible wrapped up in one book:
life is pointless without God.
{i wrote a more detailed post about it here}

>> what time do you usually go to sleep and wake up (psh what even is a sleep schedule)? <<

a sleep schedule is something we dream about. 
haha, that was a pun. i'm so hilarious, am i not?
i normally go to bed between 10:30 and 11pm. i should try to got to bed earlier, but 
it never happens. 
as for wake up time, 7am is the norm.
my goal is eventually to work up to 6:00, but that hasn't happened yet.
cheers to goals though!

>> which Disney princess do you want to be when you grow up (because we all know this is an important decision that we're going to have to make at some point in our lives)? <<

rapunzle. because just wow. such a love for life.

>> well, i thought that i only had to come up with ten questions and i was happy with that last question being my last one, but then i realized i had to do eleven. soooo. do you like to color with crayons, markers, or colored pencils? <<

colored pencils mostly. but crayons are a blast (especially on that little kid's coloring page).

>> BONUS: why are all these questions so child-ish?????? <<

because childhood has a sense of innocence to it, 
and sometimes we just need a of splash child-ish innocence.

i don't have time to award other beautiful peeps, so i'm sorry if i just broke half the rules. 
but hey - i answered the questions, and now i'll list eleven random facts about myself. =)

- i love people
- i'm a computer nerd, and just might get to be one officially.
- i think i might have just burn my skin from washing my hands in too hot water.
like seriously. its been over 10 minutes and it still hurts. 
- i have a terrible habit of playing with my hands. especially when i'm nervous.
or just don't know what to do with my hands. {what does one do????}
- orange juice is my heart juice. and yes that sounds weird.
- i like characters/letters. they're  f a c i n a t i n g
- i also love plants. i want to become a botanist. 
- i still have a scar on my leg from running into a stump on our camping trip.
it was dark, and i stupidly didn't bring a flashlight.
{though i still think that stump had evil schemes}
- i have a real job now. like its actually legit. and its crazy fun.
- my muse and haze boards on Pinterest are two of my favorite places to browse.
- i'm excited about life and can't wait to see what God has in store.

thank you for reading this whole post, it was long i know.
but hopefully it was worth it. :)

and thank you, olivia! for thinking of me.
i really enjoyed answering all your questions!

until next time,
<3 eva
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"words are my friends"
-eva // via

// don't dig your own grave //

i'm the most independent,

dependent, 

girl

out there.

i'm independent 

and don't need no man.

but i'm dependent 

cuz i need Him.

i'm independent 

and don't need no friends

but i'm dependent 

cuz i need them.

{my family}

don't call me a feminist when i say that, 

don't call me cold when speak those words.

i've just learned that with a happy life,

comes an acceptance 

of independence.

take it one day at a time,

one hour on the dime,

don't stop 

just go.

an old man once said,

"expectation is the root of all heartache"

and it is through this life that i would agree.

so don't expect

don't build it all around that

little small hope that's turned into 

a little white lie of truth.

and with each day 

i just pray:

"Lord, have it your way"

<3 eva

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"i wanna be known by You"
-twentyonepilots // goner // via

// keeping watch //

sometimes i have words that spill from me like a force 

uncontrollable 

and other times i have no words,

just silence

i love words

and i love silence.

but what i hate is neither.

the the words that are empty,

frivolous.

the words that spill without self control, 

thoughtless.

foolish human.

you only have so many opportunities to fill that silence with

worthwhile conversation.

so stop with the mindless

words

the predictable,

forgettable,

conversation.

that makes

my

head

hurt.

and that makes me cringe

with disappointment,

when i hear it leave my mouth. 

here's to filling those opportunities 

with words that will leave an imprint on 

the mind;

with conversation that will honor God,

and lift the spirit of the ones 

listening. 

<3 eva

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
happy november, dear ones

"you have the potential to make things beautiful, yes you."
-unknown // via

// we're broken people //

guys.

GUYS.

I WENT TO A TWENTY ONE PILOTS CONCERT.

I SAW THEM LIVE.

HECK YEAH

       

it was everything i could have asked for.

they sang more songs than i thought possible to fit into a concert

   

and both of them were on the crowd at certain points.

yes literally. 

tyler (lead singer, to the left) was being held up be the hands of the fans.

keeping his balance, he sang while standing up there.

josh (drummer, to the right) was standing with his drums,

on a platform that was also held by the screaming fans.

his drumming was deafening.

and incredible.

it took two hours for them to finally get on stage.

we went through two opening bands, 

and an hour worth of stage setting up and tearing down.

i worried my way through those two hours, 

trying to find a better place to see,

complaining about the tall people in front of me,

and telling the girl beside me i wished i could wear heels to see better.

it was hot and suffocating, and the adrenaline rushes i got during those hours of waiting,

both in line and the crowd, were exhausting and exhilarating. 

tyler and josh were incredible. 

being just two of them, they know how to put on a show.

they involved the crowd in the songs,

and cared for their well being.

it was such a small venue that with the heat and pressing bodies,

we had a couple people pass out. 

the first time someone did,

 tyler stopped the show to make sure she was alright.

and at the end, after their encore, confetti, and drum off, 

they stood their bowing and,

if my eyes didn't deceive me,

crying.

my favorite line, that they say at every show,

that proves the heart of their band,

is the one they say before they leave the stage

for the last time:

we're twenty one pilots and so are you.

it's an experience i'll never forget,

memories that will last me a lifetime.

-eva

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

this wasn't the concert i was at but who cares

down in the forest, we''ll sing a chorus,
singing songs that nobody wrote.
-forest | twenty one pilots // via

// breathe out //

i whisper into the darkness.

the hot air parting as the words escape my lips.

i don't know what i whispered 

or why i did;

but it was dark and my hands looked like inky ghosts.

waiting for the words that i spoke.

maybe it was a prayer.

or a wish.

or perhaps a plea for help.

my eyes squeeze shut with force,

the inky ghosts form a fist.

{i do not think it was a wish}

the lips purse,

preventing further words to be murmured.

i find my fingers creating strange shapes 

in the darkness,

its like the ghosts are dancing.

an agitated, anxious dance.

tripping over each other,

tangled in the strange midnight air. 

i do not know what i think, 

what i see, 

it is all blurry,

tossing, 

turning,

is it a prayer?

a plea for help?

or is it both?

the syllables float above me,

hovering, 

waiting, 

the ghosts over take them,

the darkness swallows them,

and they're gone.

_

what did i whisper?

i guess we'll never know.

<3 eva

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"and the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

-philippians 4:7 // via

// the ninth hour //

when we talk about the specific details of Christ's death,

we often talk about the pain that he endured.
_

the pain as every limb in his human body was torn 

and dislocated.

as he pushed himself up off the nails in his ankles

to breath.

as liquid filled his lungs,

blocking the flow of oxygen. 

as hours wore on and he slowly suffocated 

every nerve and limb in his body on fire with 

pain beyond comprehension. 

and even as i write these words i know:

these descriptions don't even come close 

to describing what it really was.

but.

what of the other pain?

this Son of God bore every sin

ever committed

on Himself.

when this happened,

God turned away,

unable to look upon the sin

His Son wore.

and because of this Jesus cried out:

"My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?"

this strikes me as agony.

agony at having to endure God's wrath.

and its because of this that i think,

we can cannot comprehend the physical pain,

but imagine how much worse the

mental pain

was.

<3 eva
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"he is the saving grace of the galaxies"
unknown // via pinterest

// darling, autumn's here //

| i sometimes wonder what the future is like. |

but then i remember, 

NOW IS THE FUTURE

| so i better make it a good one. |

-eva

there are many times when i can feel good vibes

surging through my veins.

via

and autumn is one of them. 

autumn is 

especially

one of them.

<3 eva

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

p.s i replied back to all your *lovely*

comments on my last post. 

so be sure to check them if you commented!

the trees are about to show us
 how lovely it is to let the dead things go
-unknown // via

// through time //

some of you may have noticed how slow its been around these parts.

{or maybe you haven't}

the reason for this unplanned hiatus was due to a summer project;

it took over my summer evenings completely in the month of august.

every spare moment was spent cramming to finish it by the end of summer.

what is this mysterious project?

an online girls magazine.

in the small months of the year (read: march)

i decided i needed a project i could work on throughout the summer.

something i could look back on with satisfaction and excitement:

i had accomplished something big.

in my eyes, at least.

that "something big" ended up being a magazine.

and let me tell you, it took all summer. 

but i'm happy with it; and i learned so much.

behold, the first issue of my magazine:

CLICK TO READ

i have no idea when the next issue will be - if there even will be a next issue.

but for now, i have this to show for my summer's work.

and of that

i am proud.

<3 eva

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

p.s 

and if you were wondering - 

yes, my summer was amazing.

you  smiled at the stars like they knew all your secrets
unknown // via

// WITH HIM //

down the street again,

the thoughts of my mind are spinning;

wondering what i'm doing,

and where this road is going.

_

what is life?

_

but though i wonder,

and though i wander,

i've got Jesus leading me by the hand.

so really, 

i shouldn't worry.

<3 eva

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

expectation is the root of all heartache
-shakespeare // via

// d e e p b r e a t h //

adrenaline rushes,

rushing through my veins

like a shot of energy 

shocking my brain.

mini earthquakes 

shaking my fingers

sweaty palms,

nervous mind.

white noise.

whirring silence in the heat 

of the darkness.

<3 eva

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

we write to taste life twice...
anais // via

// death is the beginning //

it would seem 

that autumn comes quickly 

in the puget sound.

summer comes slowly,

but when it ends:

it ends.

just like that. 

the clouds cover the sun,

the rain masks the heat.

and the wind chases dreams into memories.

but if you ask me:

there are just as many dreams hidden in the dying leaves, 

as there are in the budding flowers.

<3 eva

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

summer inspires me; but autumn knows me.
-evelyn ashby // via

// the view is tremendous //

| night falls, with gravity |

-twenty-one pilots

we exist.

we love.

we hate.

don't argue, you know its true.

it sounds harsh, it sounds cruel.

but we all hate.

but we also love.

and we all exist.

but do you live?

via myself

___

two days of rawness have taken my head 

and screwed it on straight.

to say i went camping would be an understatement.

to say i thrived in the rawness of nature and humanity and Jesus,

might come close.

there were stars, first of all.

millions and trillions of beating orbs in the inky blackness.

 some even shot across the sky, just to make us more in awe.

then there was swimming in the lake.

the laughter, the screeches. it was all blissfully wild.

there was thunder, rain, clean air and bright sun after the storm.

long talks with friends, sitting on discarded logs that proved the might of water. 

there was sand on wet feet, 

tall pines reaching for the sky,

and clean dirt floors with brush bushes leading the way.

there were believers gathering together, 

singing, sharing, worshiping.

there was the last glimpse of a stunning sunset.

there was a late night conversation

siting on the rocks, 

listening as the waves of a lake imitated those of the ocean,

feeling the wind pulling and pushing you,

hearing words as they fell from those around you,

knowing,

 that this is what it's like to not just exist, 

but to  L I V E

<3 eva

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

i fall in love everyday, with ideas and sensations, people i see.
i hold them long enough to let them go, but i keep them in my heart and in my soul.
-atticus // via pinterest

// construction by destruction //

with each passing moment,

i rip apart my mask.

and with each passing day 

i become confident in 

who 

i 

am.

- 

not you.

not that. 

but me in Him.

loving you,

hating masks,

calling you,

to join my task:

i burn facades 

will you also?

<3 eva

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL
-eva ashby  // via

// honored //

sweet olivia from summer of 1999 awarded me the liebster award!
{several weeks ago that is. forgive me}
most of these questions i answered one night last week, but then i came back and edited a couple.
thus questions x and xi are a little outdated, but no matter.
the answers are still true.
thank you so much olivia for awarding me! i am very flattered and enjoyed answering your questions. <3

i do not have anyone to award this time around, but perhaps i will randomly award some lovely bloggers in the future.
i love you all.

i. what is one, or two, things that you can never resist the urge to impulse buy?

clothes. and shoes. i've grown stronger to fight the urge, but they're pretty much the only thing that i have a huge desire/impulse to buy. ;)

ii. do you like hot tea? If so, what are some of your favorite kinds?

oh yes. my absolute favorite is chai tea (like with an actual tea bag and herbs), its amazing. another favorite is pear tea <3

iii. what is the latest book you've read?

the giver by lois lowry. it was very similiar to the anthem by ayn rand {written 56 years earlier}, but less of a fable and more of a teen novel. 
however, i found it really interesting and the little things really made it for me. 

iv. if you could relive a day in your past which would it be and why?

there are many days i would relive, but one that recently happened was an outside concert.
the pit was full of singing, shouting young people trying to survive the 90+ heat.
the musicians were having a blast singing and jamming out.
you could feel the drum beat in your chest,
the lights blinded you or aided your sight,
you could feel the pulse of the crowd around you,
the stinging of your clapping hands resonating through your body,
your lungs breathless from shouting and singing and screaming.
it was loud, bright and incredible. 

v. what is your favorite color? [I know this is totally unoriginal but I want to know]

green. 

{plants.

trees.

deep oceans.}

vi. if you could go on vacation to one spot, where would it be?

right now, probably spain or italy.

vii. what is the perfect weather to you?

i am a firm believer that Jesus created seasons because he knew it would be impossible for us to decide on one. He know's we're fickle creatures. as a result i have two perfect weather circumstances:

I. pouring rain. cloudy. chilly. breezy. cozy inside with laughter and a fire and books.

II. sun shining. water sparkling. a slight breeze. little to no clouds. laughter. 

i suppose you could say i love water, wind, and laughter. 

viii. what are you wearing right now?

skinny jeans and a gray baggy t-shirt that has an anchor on it. ;)

ix. what person in your life are you closest to and how did you meet?

assuming we're talking outside of the family due to the latter half of the question,

i would have to say my friend hannah.

we actually never officially "met" since our family's have known each other our entire life.

so yes, childhood friend's i guess you could say.

x. what has been the highlight of your week?

 it actually hasn't happened yet, but saturday i'm going to an outdoor concert of switchfoot and needtobreathe (and two other bands but i forget their names) [edit: the two bands were colony house and drew holcomb and the neighbors. the former was awesome, the latter wasn't really my style]
 which is going to be a heck of a time.

xi. when was the last time you laughed/cried, and what prompted it? [you can choose which you want to do, or both]

the last time i laughed harder than a normal giggle (i don't ever live a day with out some form of laughter), was probably yesterday when i went to the river with my family.

there was sun, chilly water, and the gathering of wild ivy.

and also slippery rocks. 

the laughter was prompted by squeals that escaped from my cold lungs as i entered the water,

and later when i decided i was going to cross the river without getting my upper body wet (which was impossible) to retrieve the wild ivy.

i did get the ivy. i did not stay dry. 

i cry very easily, but i can't, at the moment, remember the last time i did.

<3 eva

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

"train your mind to see the good in everything"
-unknown // via

// deep breath //

we sometimes call each other

wishing we were back to what used to be

feeling vibes

feeling nostalgia

gritting our teeth in the pain of the present

trying to ignore that 

time is moving on 

and sometimes we have to too.

<3 eva

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"we've got to live, no matter how many skies have fallen."
d. h. lawrence // via

// we are human //

and my heart is always breaking for the ghosts that haunt this room 

we fall asleep to revolution, but wake up next to a sad excuse 

oh, what a shame
how we got in our own way 

| nate ruess // harsh lights |

<3 eva
- - - - - - - - - - - -

the spectacular now
unknown // via pinterest