Sunday, January 22, 2017

awkwardly raw

I appreciate rawness.

raw art,

raw emotion,

raw passion.

But while that's all nice and well,

it's one thing to say it and another

to actually appreciate it.

I've learned over the past year that there are times when rawness is painful;

when it's not easy to love and even harder to appreciate.

I catch myself turning a blind eye to things; considering them awkward instead of raw.

Which is true, awkwardness and rawness are often interchangeable.

We have to choose to view them as raw and beautiful instead of awkward and ugly.

The reason I'm going on this tangent is because I recently attempted a podcast.

"attempted" is the key word here.

I've had a lot of thoughts lately on the subject of body image and self-love,

especially after having a conversation with a friend on these topics,

and I wanted to write a blog post about it.

However, I've been swamped with the life of work and college and I haven't had a moments chance to write it all down.

Cue the podcast.

One time on the drive home I turned on the podcast recording and just started talking.

It's awkward, it's raw.

There's no music, no smooth introduction or thought-out plan of attack. There are awkward silences as I turn the corner, you can hear my blinker, and I probably lost my train of thought at one point.

It's just me talking in the dark about something that's been on my mind.

I debated for a long time whether I should share it or not.

I thought maybe I should re-record it; maybe I should try fixing it up with cuts and music.

But then I told myself "no"

I've striven so many times for things be "perfectly raw"

that maybe it's time for "awkwardly raw"

So here's my podcast,

cringe if you may, but know

it comes from my heart.

<3 Eva
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"Don't believe in your strength, believe in His strength."
-Eva | via