Friday, October 28, 2016

My Life | His Art

sometimes I sit in the dark,

listening to music,

and just feel the weight of my life.

all of the heartache, the joys, the moments,

the silence,

it has all made me who I am.

the story of my life weaved through singular strings,

every string different than the other.

every person that has come and gone,

whether their role a positive or negative impact,

is a part of the story.

and I can't be mad can I?

even if sometimes I feel like punching something,

from the pain they caused;

I can't change what they've done, 

I can only embrace it.

I can't raise any part of my life to a 

high level of importance; 

I can't praise to the heavens the people that had a positive impact;

or plummet to the ground those with negative results.

I can't say "a particular moment in my life" changed my life, 

or formed my life.

because moments,

people, 

they don't form your life. 

they take a part in what is your life,

but they can't change your life, 

or direct it in a particular direction.

only Jesus can do that.

He's the one, all these years,

that's been weaving my story,

allowing things to happen,

putting people in my life,

taking them out,

I am who I am today because of HIM

and not because of anything, 

or anyone, 

else.

while this hard to remember, 

and easy to forget,

it's true. 

and in moments like this,

sitting in dark,

I feel it. 

I feel the peace of having no control over my life,

of accepting the pain and the joys as a part of His plan,

and allowing Him to create what He will.

<3 Eva
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God is love. He didn't need us, but he wanted us.
And that is the most amazing thing
-unkown | via

Sunday, October 16, 2016

He alone

I scrape

I claw

I cut.

I struggle,

struggle

for freedom.

finally

I'm free,

but then realize

I'm not.

via
I feel like Eustace.

I've felt the suffocation of my skin,

as I realize how sinful I am.

I've struggled as I removed my skin so many times,

clawing it off my body, 

time and time again.

I've stepped out of it, feeling like a newborn creature

reveling in the breeze and the feeling of freedom.

I've danced and shouted as I looked to the future,

the future where I have no dead, sinful skin, hanging on me

weighing me down

causing me to stumble and fall

and injure myself.

I've run over to the pool of water,

in excitement,

to gaze at the new me only to find

there it is.

the dead skin,

hanging on me like it has so many times before.

I failed 

again.

Just like Eustace, 

I've realized,

I could claw it off a thousand times over,

but Jesus is the one who can really [fully] cut it off.

Every night I ask Him to remove the skin,

because I can't;

and I'm exhausted from trying.

Let me collapse into your waiting arms,

Dear Savior,

You are the only One that gives me 

real peace.

<3 Eva
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He alone is sufficient. He alone satisfies. He alone sustains.
unknown | via