Sunday, January 22, 2017

awkwardly raw

I appreciate rawness.

raw art,

raw emotion,

raw passion.

But while that's all nice and well,

it's one thing to say it and another

to actually appreciate it.

I've learned over the past year that there are times when rawness is painful;

when it's not easy to love and even harder to appreciate.

I catch myself turning a blind eye to things; considering them awkward instead of raw.

Which is true, awkwardness and rawness are often interchangeable.

We have to choose to view them as raw and beautiful instead of awkward and ugly.

The reason I'm going on this tangent is because I recently attempted a podcast.

"attempted" is the key word here.

I've had a lot of thoughts lately on the subject of body image and self-love,

especially after having a conversation with a friend on these topics,

and I wanted to write a blog post about it.

However, I've been swamped with the life of work and college and I haven't had a moments chance to write it all down.

Cue the podcast.

One time on the drive home I turned on the podcast recording and just started talking.

It's awkward, it's raw.

There's no music, no smooth introduction or thought-out plan of attack. There are awkward silences as I turn the corner, you can hear my blinker, and I probably lost my train of thought at one point.

It's just me talking in the dark about something that's been on my mind.

I debated for a long time whether I should share it or not.

I thought maybe I should re-record it; maybe I should try fixing it up with cuts and music.

But then I told myself "no"

I've striven so many times for things be "perfectly raw"

that maybe it's time for "awkwardly raw"

So here's my podcast,

cringe if you may, but know

it comes from my heart.

<3 Eva
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"Don't believe in your strength, believe in His strength."
-Eva | via


  1. wow. WOW. WOWWWWW. this is one of the truest things i've ever heard spoken on this topic. Christ alone yo. that's where His children find their hope and their self. it's not us anymore. it's not. and when our focus is made right, when our hearts are made right, we see that the last thing on Earth we should be concerned about is how beautiful our bodies are. Christ's body, broken and bloody and scarred, is the perfect, beautiful sacrifice. that's what i want. xx

    1. amen, amen, amen. ashksldghkl thank you for your comment that first sentence was such an amazing compliment! <3

  2. This is SO GOOD. Please make more! That image of a rope thrown down without being taught to climb it is so poignant and true- it provides the perfect mental image. It's so hard to know how to help so many girls that struggle without the Lord- how do you teach them to climb? Climb down beside them and let them know they aren't alone, to begin with I guess... and then? I just don't know, I need to think about it. ANYways. I'm so glad you decided to post this. xx

    1. Thank you, Nina!! You know... I might just make more :)

      I think teaching them how to climb is, like you said, climbing down beside them and letting them know their not alone. BUT also letting them know there's a God who cares, a God who created them and molded their body. It really depends on their knowledge of the Lord, but essentially you need to bring them to the truth of the scriptures, showing them the promises God has in His word, and then telling them to dwell on those instead of their fears and doubts. That's my outlook at least! Definitely an interesting topic. :)

  3. Dude, I'm going to have to listen to your podcast thing and get back to you on it! Having read this post I'm so excited -- it's so, so important to be open and raw and messy, and sometimes that's awkward. But that's the realest, most authentic thing.

    We should never be afraid to make a mess and be real sometimes.

    - Aimee (To the Barricade!)

    1. Amen to that last statement! Yess, I would love to hear your thoughts after you listen to it!
      Thank you so much for the comment and visit, Aimee <3

  4. Yes! Preach it, girl! I've felt the lack of real solutions in so many posts and articles about that topic too. But you point it all back to Him, and that is powerful. I couldn't agree more. Thanks so much for having the courage to share. xx

  5. This post actually made me cry <3


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