Monday, March 7, 2016

// a list; what i've been up to //


for once in my life i'm purposely reading two books at once; 
normally i avoid such a thing, but for some reason its getting slightly easier.

i. the pursuit of God; by a.w. tozer  
this book is incredible. it is an exploration of a Christian's relationship with God: 
not in the normal sense, but in the overwhelming, passion for God. 
its about cultivating the hunger that Christians have grown accustomed to stifling with shallow worship. 
this book has changed my outlook on a life of faith and on being a Child of God and i'm only halfway through it.

ii. mere christianity; by c.s lewis 
a book i've been meaning to read for a long time, as finally been made priority. 
to sum this book up in one phrase: it proves God without using the Bible. 

originally a radio talk during world war two, c.s lewis explores the human nature, and all the questions that seem to have a "just believe" answer. 
i'm only a third of the way through it so far, so i cannot give me full thoughts, but already i am blown away by the smartness of lewis.

i recently read animal farm and was intrigued by the simple horror of it all. 
the truths are so bare and apparent that it's no surprise it was, and is, a revolutionary book.


james bay. so much james bay.

i adore any music acoustic, 
it's my chill music that i can relax too will studying.  
and james bay is the king of chill. 
-his voice is perfect; 
-his melodies are unique; 
-his instruments are clean and cleverly used;
- his harmonies are somehow always on spot.
- and (speaking of harmonies) his background vocals are just flawless.
(okay maybe not flawless, but they're really good okay?)

i'm sorry for rambling, i'll just let you listen to my favorite of his right now:

we're you surprised i didn't say twenty one pilots? 
yeah sometimes physics and rap don't go together. 
its called alternatives, people.


a lot of lord of the flies thoughts. 
thoughts and musings of the darkness of man's heart,
of the strength and terror of humanity. 

via from lord of the flies

i've been thinking about how i find exploring the hearts and flesh of humans extremely intriguing.
and how people don't get my love and interest for books like frankenstien and lord of the flies,  

when i expressed this to one friend she told me:
"you see beauty in the dark and sad things, not many people do."

and i think i just need to come to terms with that. 
most people don't stop me when i start talking {passionately} about these topics/books.
but they don't fully get it.

another friend, after listening to my frustration about how people avoid the dark subjects, about how they cover it up with smiles and fluff, kindly told me,

"they're scared. it's fear that makes them avoid the dark topics."

forgive me, humans, for wanting you to talk about the very thing you fear the most: yourself

<3 eva
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"men are not prisoners of fate, but prisoners of their own minds"
- franklin roosevelt | via


  1. Those two books are amazing! And Animal Farm is scary :/ The very thing we most fear- yes. I just love your posts:)

    1. have you read both of them?
      thank you, thank you Nina :)

    2. I have! My teen group studied the Pursuit of God, I wish we would study more of his work:)

  2. But so much focus on the dark and the fear without the Light and Love of Christ is to deny His very purpose. He came to be the Light in the dark places and cast out fear with His perfect Love. focus on the human condition without focusing on the God's gift of redemption creates utter hopelessness. Don't you think?

    1. yes. yes yes yes. this is a very good point. for me, focusing on the dark and the fear IS focusing on the Light. its the amazing road of exploring WHY we need such a great Savior.
      adelaide put it so neatly down below, "the depravity of man is one stepping stone on the road to understanding our need for a Savior".

    2. but yes, we cannot dwell on darkness forever. and i think that *because* i have Christ, this exploration does not end in hopelessness. it only furthers my love for Jesus.

  3. SO TRUE. WOW. I'm so glad that the truth of Jesus allows us to see these things for what they are: darkness. The depravity of man is one stepping stone on the road to understanding our need for a Savior (who has chosen us from the beginning to flee darkness!) <3

    1. THANK YOU. you knew what i was thinking, why i was thinking it, and so eloquently summed it up. it is this exploration of the human condition that fuels my love for Christ.
      thanks again and thank you for your comment <3 love you

  4. all of this is so good. james bay, lewis, lotf, animal farm, everything.
    all this is lovely. thank you for the update ^^

  5. This is a great post, Ash. It's true that people shy away from dark art. Nobody wants to be reminded of their desperation and depravity...but I agree with you. We should read to learn about humanity and see ourselves reflected in the characters (all of them, good, bad, happy, dark).


this blogging community and their comments are what give me purpose to blogging. they encourage and inspire, even if its the littlest of notes <3 thank you for taking the time to comment!