Thursday, September 1, 2016


| Be who you needed when you were younger |
| unkown |

If you've been reading my blog for awhile, 
then you may know that I struggled with depression, doubt, 
unanswered questions, and fear a lot during 2014-2015.

While people say you can tell them anything and reassure you that they're there for you,
there's something about depression (or whatever you prefer to call it)
that clamps your mouth shut.

That whispers no one cares, no one will understand,
that it would be better to keep it bottled up inside 

{where it can infect the mind}

I know that feeling,
That feeling of suffocation,
and fear.

I've heard that sick, hot, whisper in your ear.
And I've listened to it.

But I'm here to ask you,

to beg you:



It's a liar, its a cheat, 
it's a ghost inside your head,
and it should have no,
I repeat, 
control over you.
I started this post with a quote,
a quote that I have often gone back to in the 
past year. In those days, nights, months of dark thoughts I would have loved 
to have some one who just walked up and say 
"I know what you're going through and here's the solution."

But life doesn't work that way, no one can see past the masks you wear, 
and no one has the perfect solution.

{Except Christ. He always see's past your mask,
and friend,
He is the solution}

So maybe life real life doesn't work out so smoothly.
Maybe it's not so simple to walk up to someone and tell them you've 
waged wars in your head as well; that no, you're not alone. |-/

However, in the last 2 years, I have discovered how amazingly 
encouraging blogging can be.  
Its sometimes frightening to be vulnerable and write a post about the 
dark thoughts one struggles with, but then. 
You realize you're not alone.

People comment with "This is so relatable!"
"I know exactly what you mean"
or even better,
"Thank you for this blog post it was so encouraging"
"This made my day brighter"
"Thank you for reminding me I'm not alone."

These comments are why I blog. It's my purpose for all of this,
its the reason I continue to post such "strange" posts.
Because while they're strange to some people, 
there are other's who I KNOW need to hear it.
I'm not just speaking into the empty space, 
I'm spilling my fears to friends. 

The response to my last blog post blew me away
It was a small journal entry I had jotted down weeks earlier, 
and decided to share with the blogging community.
The comments just make me want to cry. 
The post was SO SHORT, 
but people loved it, and related to it, and it reminded them how important 
it is to watch what you're feeding your mind.

If you were one of those people who commented:

bless you darlings. 
{after I finish this post I'm going to go reply to all the 
comments, so be sure to go back and read them}


Kate from The Goodness Revolt  has also seen the power of blogging, 
and for years has been writing blog posts that encourage so many young people.
Recently she has started to explore the concept of bringing bloggers together into one blog.
And she has succeed in bringing to life this blog; a blog that is everything 
you needed when you were younger.

It is the gentle voice telling you:

you're not alone

you are loved 


It's amazing what happens when we come together,
what we can accomplish with Jesus as our Captain.

Be sure to visit Burning Youth and check out the amazing gals and their posts!

Stay Alive |-/

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I hope there are days when you fall in love with being alive.
-unkown | via


  1. I have never thought a single one of your posts was 'strange', it would never even have crossed my mind! You have a beautiful 'voice' and spirit. <3 I look forward to everything you write!!

    1. Thank you so much, Nina! Your comments always make my day!

  2. Being transparent and sharing the "dark side" is what people need/desire, but what I admire most about you is that you don't leave the reader just saying to herself, "me too, yes, I feel that way..." but you show them HOPE. HOPE alone found in Christ...where the light shines through.

    1. because I have found it impossible to not mention the one thing that saved me. thank you for this important reminder to not stop at the bad news, but get on with the good news!

  3. can I cry now?? I think the major reason why I always jump to read your new blogposts are because they are so real. so understandable. so me. You aren't a fluffy blogger with your life all in perfect place - no you're an honest Christian who struggles but knows about the hope it in all because of Him.

    don't ever stop blogging or writing <3333

    1. thank you, thank you, THANK YOU Julia! wow your words are so encouraging. that is what i strive for: human, raw, painful-but-true-because-i-fail-daily-words. so just thank you <3

  4. Burning Youth is amazing, and so are you. I'm amazed by the way that you have with words. Everything that you share is so beautiful, and I love it. <3

    1. aww thank you, Grace! wow, you are just too kind! <3

  5. Eva, you always write things that I need to hear. i've never been the best comment leaver, but there have been so many times that i come and silently read and my soul is just so fed by your words. because they are truth. and life. and light in the darkness. you should be proud because in your vulnerability and honesty you shine, and in shining silently give others permission to do the same.

    never doubt that you are impacting others with your words, because i am one of them.

    this is absolutely beautiful.

    thank you.

    1. no, thank YOU. Katie, to know that I have touched your life and so many others is just a dream that's hard to know if its come true or not. thank you for letting me know it is. just KSDJLKJSG THANK YOU. i don't know what else to say.

  6. Oh Ashby, I loved this post so very much!! <3 Keep it up beautiful!

  7. I love this post. It was more raw and open than almost any other post you've written I think. Its good to know that you aren't alone and there are others that are struggling with the same things as you. I'm not sure if i have ever told you this, but I have struggled with fear and doubt quite a bit in the past, and to know that i have another friend like me who is going through the same struggles is really comforting. Thank you for being open about your struggles and letting other people that they aren't alone.
    "shadows will scream that i'm alone, but I know we've made it this far kid."
    Stay alive |-/

    1. you're welcome. thank YOU too, i couldn't write these posts without the reception i get.
      stay strong girl, i'm so glad i could be here for you! even if it's in a distant way <3
      stay alive |-/

  8. I don't even know what to say.

    This was beautiful and totally spoke to my heart. I haven't followed for very long but I know your past posts were GREAT.

    I don't really know if you could have classified me as "depressed" last year but it was definitely headed that way. I related to this post, for sure. But Jesus pulled me out. He made a river in my wasteland. He's great, isn't He? I look back now and rejoice because I'm not there anymore but my heart still hurts remembering the pain.

    Out of the darkness and into His marvelous light. <3

    This was so incredibly beautiful, Eva. Love it.

    1. thank you for your words, Aaliyah. they mean the world. yes He IS great. He is marvelous, astounding, kind. "out of the darkness and into His marvelous light" amen, amen! <3 <3
      thank you, again.
      all these comments want to make me cry!

  9. i have literal tears in my eyeballs right now
    i can't even use words to describe how this post made me feel.

    like whoa. you're there. inside my head. how.

    thank you for this
    (and i found the hidden TØP sign :')

    1. oh Abbiee *tight hug* thank you for THIS ^^^ Love you so much girl!

      (the hidden TOP sign was admitting that the PREVIOUS SENTENCE WAS A TOP LYRIC LOL)


this blogging community and their comments are what give me purpose to blogging. they encourage and inspire, even if its the littlest of notes <3 thank you for taking the time to comment!